you’re a jerk.

today i was in the school again for the first time. we didn’t do anything thrilling but i did talk to my most difficult student from last year– the muse of many a weekday drinking binge– who was sitting on the front steps a little away from other people, like a grumpy buddha. i congratulated her on her senior year and noted that she seemed pretty calm. she said, “yeah, i’m changing my old ways. time to grow up.” can you believe that shit? kids really do say stuff like that outside of inspirational films about teaching starring michelle pfeiffer. yes, in this metaphor, i am michelle pfeiffer. it’s not up for debate.

i have a bunch of ameristuff* to do (*sometimes we make puns out of the word “americorps.” we are really funny), the first day of school is next wednesday, and on the 14th, i’m in there for good, back “in the trenches,” as my supervisor calls it (that’s meant as a compliment; it’s not in the trenches as in, “oh my god, you teach remedial reading? aren’t those kids really, like…. difficult?” “difficult” being used strategically to cover up a number of less politically correct terms which are nevertheless implied with all the subtlety of an elbow in the rib cage. it’s in the trenches as in, we’re doing hard work with kids who often get thrown into trenches, so to speak, and not many people want to hang out there with them and do the shit that needs to get done. many, many teachers at the school where i teach enjoy sitting beside the trenches in a lounge chair with a glass of lemonade, gazing up at the sky and pretending the trench isn’t there. okay, i know, enough with the trench.) anyway, in honor of my second year of pfeifferdom, i submit to you my students’ favorite song/video/dance craze/thing to yell at me and each other all day. at least it was three months ago. i’m probably a loser for even remembering it.

p.s. this site got over a thousand hits today. why? because of this picture:


so thank you, nerds and perverts, and whatever unthinkable hybrid lies at their intersection. you’re gonna make me a star.


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